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© 2008 gdjock@yahoo.com
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Move it!
Being healthy is an important thing in life. Everything you do, your diet, your lifestyle, your sex life will determine how long you will live and stuff. However, all work and no play make you a dull nerd. So, having an active social life is a must as well. You have to be seen in the right place and wear the right Armani.

Let say you are with your selected friends having a lazy weekend afternoon, and have no idea what the hell you should do.

May I interest you with a fun game, called Celebrity Runway. It's so fun and cool and you are so yesterday if you don't play this game or whatever. So here it goes.

Basically this game is like a relay run with pitstops where you should perform several challenges and stuff. From the starting line, on cue, the participants should run to the first pitstop.


Pitstop 1: The Amy Winehouse challenge.

Every contestant will have to wear a 5 foot beehive wig, while having their arms tattooed. Then you should snort some coke and take 5 puff of ganja and pretend that you are too cool for rehab. After that you should run to the next pit stop situated on the other side of a busy highway.


Pitstop 2: The Britney Spears Challenge.

There are 10 items you should carry between your fingers; a cup of tall grande starbucks, 2 blackberries, 1 ipod, 1 MAC lip gloss, a pocket sized dog, 1 bottle of Evian, A BigMac, a lighter and a pack of cigarette with one fag lighted up. The participants also should wear a giant bugeyed sunglasses and a ripped short jeans and a random shady arab-ish boyfriend. Bonus points will be given if you wear no underwear.


Pitstop 3: The Angelina Jolie Challenge.

You have to be really aneroxic to be in this challenge, so the fat participants are automatically disqualified. You should wear them giant sunglasses with 4 (four) toddlers on tow, preferably in different nationalities and ancestries. You have to wear your hair wavy and seductively, and the most important thing, you should wear a Brad Pitt. You have to navigate the toddlers, the Brad Pitt and yourself on a cleared Cambodia-themed field, infested with land minds. You will be disqualified if the game marshal find you using a nanny.


Pitstop 4: Tha Paris Hilton challenge.

You should get yourself safely through a crowd of paparazzis and you should strike a fierce pose with every step. On your way, you should make-out with at least 7 different guys, and bonus points will be given if you make a video. Also, you should have a bitch fight with some less hotter celebrities such as Nicole Ritchie, Shanna Moakler and Lindsay Lohan. Backstabbing doesn't count. You can attack any part of the body but not the face.


Pitstop 5: The Reality TV Hosts challenge.

First, you have to make a dramatic cocktail dress from vegetables while speaking in German accented English ala Heidi Klum. After you finished your dress, you should model it in all feriosity while acting like a ghetto hoe.Imagine Tyra Banks. And remember to 'smile with your eyes'. After that you should clap your way to the finish line like a seal ala Paula Abdul on meth. Bonus points will be rewarded for those who make blunt degrading comments to other contestants, Simon Cowell style. When you reach the finish line, you should shout, "Seacrest, OUT!!".

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Every Man For Himself

“Count your smiles instead of your tears; Count your courage instead of your fears.”

~ Unknown

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

~ Maya Angelou

“The secret of Happiness is Freedom, and the secret of Freedom, Courage.”

~ Thucydides

“Everything becomes a little bit different as soon as it is spoken out loud”

~ Hermann Hesse





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