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Thursday, May 29, 2008
CATS : A Shocking Revelation

I'm sure most of you are a cat person. Even though they spot that annoyed indeferent face all the time, we all perceived them as cute cuddly things. I bet many people don't know this but cats actually have a strong psychotic powers that controls human mind. Thanks to LOLcat site, an organization that unravel the sinister cat's plot for world domination, we manage to study cat's social circle in more detail. (more after the link...)

Cat actually speaks broken English, which is even cooler than street ghetto talk. They are highly trained assassins but too cool to work for it. Like any human family, cat's family consists of a dad, a mom and kittens, also known as 'the kitteh'. Momcat (no relations to the TomCats) is your average stay home mother. They wait at home, clean the kittens, make love to dadcat and look fat and pretty. Dadcat usually works at office space in home, and a truly overprotective cat. Never mess with this wise old man. They sometimes give advices to any man who wanted their view on life.

The kitteh usually a highly cute thing. It's believed that they can explode heads with their adorableness. Like young teenagers, the kitteh are bratty and always involved in juvenile activities, like hanging with the dawgs and kill other insects or prized exotic birds and goldfishes, to which they will be put in lock-ups. Here secret skills of killing things will be passed to other kitteh making being put in a lock up a cool 'street' thing. However not all kitteh is rotted. Some good kitteh involved in a support group called the Ittibittikitti committee, where their main purpose is hanging around looking cute and gather human foods to be given to the unfortunate cat families in Africa.

The cats also have the in-laws, the overbearing and nosy cats that love to pop in unannounced and catches momcat and dadcat having sex. The mother in laws love to offer her snide remarks to the momcats, to which a cat fight ensured, coz cats don't take shits from other cat, they'll say it back to the face.

Cat's only purpose in life is sleeping (a.k.a catnips), eating (a.k.a nom), guarding their bucket (a.k.a. bukkit) and world domination. They actually have no prior grudge over humans, but since humans love to dress them in awful get-ups and give them bath, full-knowingly that cats are self cleaning and aquaphobic. At this point they succeeded to tarnish the dogs image, and making people choose them over the loyal but oftenly stupid dogs.

There are two different caste in cat social scene. The ceiling cats and the basement cats. Ceiling cats are the high society of the cats. The Paris Hilton of cats if you will. Usually light coloured and from a rare breed, ceiling cats usually cuter and fatter and lazier. Basement cats are darker in colour and street savvy. They are more agile and active but sometimes come across uglier. They are like the ninjas of cats. However these cats fight any other cats regardless of caste. Its human that apartheid'd them.

Cats achieve internet (or as they call it; interwebs) recognition after the were featured in LOLcat, joining some other popular internet animal stars like Orly Owls and LOLrus. There are also some other animals such as the bunnies (also known as 'the bunneh' to the cats society), the squirrels, the pandas, the monkeys and the hippos.

It is hoped that with this information, humans will be aware of the doom impending on them. After you read this page, please shut it down so the cats don't read it.

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posted at 1:51 PM  

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  • At Sunday, June 01, 2008 12:04:00 AM, Blogger Nadia said…

    hahaha i LOVE lolcats!icanhascheezburger is so addictive!

    on a serius note, cats are very smart animals. They do absolutely nothing aside from sleeping and shitting, and theyre quite indifferent towards humans unless they want food; but we still love them! i totally believe in the lolcats world domination theory

  • At Monday, June 02, 2008 12:38:00 AM, Blogger Roronoa Zoro said…

    ha.. i told ya!

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