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Thursday, September 25, 2008
I'm coming home

I am sitting in my office alone having ice cream and coffee for my break-fasting coz I don't feel like queuing for nasi ayam. Tomorrow is the last day of work, and my mind is already 200km from here. I want to be at home so bad. Fuck work.

As much as I'm happy that I'm returning home for this holiday, part of me seems reluctant to return home. Not because I love it here, but the fact that I will have to answers thousands of questions about my life I'm not proud of.

It seems like every year, I am the same person, where idyllically I want to be a growing better person. Honestly, I'm quite embarrass to present myself as I am. The stagnant condition that I am today is not what I imagined my life would be.

Sure, I can't wait to meet my whole family. Whole 50 of them. I like how the house overdosed with laughter and traditional culinary orgy, and how I drowned in the happiness around me. I can't wait to see my grandmas and those pesty cute nephews and nieces running around and tripping on each other. I can't wait to silently eaves dropping the latest gossip about certain someone and become the reluctant waiter for my great grandfather's guests. I missed the moment where the men sit around the table and choke ourselves to death with cigarette smoke and talk about manly things like cars, politic, economy and 4D numbers (while the women of course bust their ass off in the kitchen).

It is just sad to realize that one day this gathering will soon end. Every family is growing old, and one day this pilgrimage of celebration will be reduced into a legend. When that day come, all we can do is relive the sentimental moments through stories and smiles.

This hari raya I planned to do the thing I avoided for the past years. I don't care if I cry buckets, I just want to kiss those superpower hands that shower me with much more love that I could handle.

So to whoever who are celebrating this Eid Mubarak, I wish you a very peaceful celebration that filled with eternal joy and happiness. May God bless us all.

Selamat Hari Raya. Maaf Zahir Batin.

Much Love and God bless,
Kamal.


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posted at 7:24 PM  

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“Count your smiles instead of your tears; Count your courage instead of your fears.”

~ Unknown

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

~ Maya Angelou

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~ Thucydides

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~ Hermann Hesse





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