You have to be grateful because things will not get easier. It will get suckier and suckier each passing day. Its like you are falling from an ugly tree, where you hit pretty much every branch on your way down, and once you get to the ground, cursing in pain, the earthquake come and the earth opens up and you fall into those deep pit less ravine. Nothing's gonna get alright. So enjoy what you have, stop whining and don't forget to say your grace.
I'm kinda guy who see the glass half full... of poops.
This Budwiser ads was so popular back then when I was in college. Sometimes when I meet my friends, instead of asking how each other's news, we went into a minute long wasssuuuuppppp!!! And sometimes we call each other just to deliver this silly line. It was fun. Like girl's perky breasts, it eventually fades away, and we moved on with our life.
Until today, when I discovered that the boys came out with a satire short video about the same thing but in different current environment. It feels like old freinds reunion. Almost bring tears to my eyes.
Write all the time I know you do this already, but do it more. Write something every day. Somebody once said that, for writers, the first million words are just practice. With a bit of luck, it won’t be quite that many, but it might be close (and for some people, it’s more).
Don’t write all the time It may be tempting to close off from the world and just write, but that’s not going to cut it. All fiction writing is really a form of journalism; your stories and characters may be made up, but they should be serving to record your impressions and experiences of the world around you. If you don’t get out of your room once in a while and start living, where are these original impressions and experiences going to come from? Remember what Ezra Pound said: “literature is news that stays news”. So go out and be a news reporter.
Read inside your genre Many people start writing because there’s a particular genre that they enjoy, whether it’s horror, crime, science-fiction, romance, or fantasy. Writing inside a genre is a great way to learn, because there are stricter sets of rules and structures to follow and copy. Read widely in your genre, from the early pioneers to the latest trashy paperbacks. So, if your chosen genre is horror, make sure that you’ve read both the latest Stephen King and the ghost stories of Charles Dickens and M. R. James. Check out any dedicated magazines, too.
Read outside your genre Getting a good working knowledge of the development of your genre is a must, but it’s equally important to read other books too. There are plenty of techniques to be learned from every corner of the library, and they’ll really open your eyes to a whole range of possibilities. You might end up writing in a different genre altogether, or you might find yourself coming back to your first love with lots of new ideas. There’s a whole range of books that every writer should have read, whatever they’re writing. Go into your local library, sign up for a library card, and tell the librarian at the main fiction desk to introduce you to the classics…
Get a good dictionary You’ll need it. These days, I generally recommend the Oxford Dictionary of English in the UK, or the New Oxford American Dictionary (NOAD) in the USA. (While Merriam-Webster is the American standard, the NOAD has more examples of usage, which can be very handy.) If you have a relatively recent Mac, you’ll find that the NOAD is built into the Dashboard.
Settle in for the long haul There’s a reason that writing has traditionally been seen as an older person’s profession, and it doesn’t have anything to do with ageism. It’s simply that it takes a long time to read all the books, do all that practice writing, and acquire the life experience you need in order to write something really worthwhile. So be prepared to watch a lot of years pass before you’re sitting in that publisher’s office, and more importantly, be prepared to make good use of them. Which brings us to the next point…
Choose interesting work You really aren’t going to walk out of school, college, or university and straight into the life of a full-time writer. Not only are more years going to pass, but even when you do find that publishing deal, the chances are that it’s not going to make you rich. While there are people who make their living writing fiction—and while there are stories of six- and seven-figure advances, these are rare. Even if you’re a great writer, you’re more likely to be starting with a much, much smaller advance. So think about how you’re going to earn money during that time. Choose a career that’s going to stimulate you and keep you inspired. Travel is a great inspiration, so maybe you can find something to do that involves seeing other parts of the world. More than one writer has learned about life from the inside of a doctor’s coat, or there are the other humanities to be considered: what about something that involves history, say? You can learn plenty about human nature be studying how we’ve behaved over the centuries. Then there’s journalism, which could provide a great training ground for your writing skills.
Avoid drugs As a writer, your chief tool is going to be your brain. Drugs can damage that tool, so years down the line, they may reduce your ability to write well, or to tell the stories that you want to tell. If you wanted to be a master jeweller, you wouldn’t risk damaging your fingers. If you wanted to paint, you wouldn’t let anything risk your eyesight, so as a writer, don’t damage your brain.
Join a writing group While it’s true that other people are often irritating and ignorant, their opinion is going to start being important to you sooner or later. After all, you want people to read your books, don’t you? Joining a writing group is a great way to try your fiction out on other people and see how they respond to it. There may be suitable writing groups in your school, local library, or community centre. If you can’t find one, talk to your English teacher or school librarian (assuming you’re still at school) about starting one.
Resist the temptation to self-publish All those years of improving your skills can be frustrating, and there will be times when you’re impatient to see your name on the front cover of a book. Self-publishing seems to get cheaper every year, but resist the temptation to publish one of your books in this way. You may be proud of your work now, but how will you feel about it five years in the future? Or ten? Or twenty? You’ll probably be very embarrassed. Remember that once it’s out there, even if you withdraw it from sale, it will never quite go away. Another concern is that publishers often like to “discover” new authors and introduce them to the world. You’re going to be a less tempting prospect to them if you already have two or three pieces of juvenalia cluttering up even the darkest corners of the internet.
Meet the awesome Bo Dunham. I knew this guy a while back. +Yea we were tight. + Anyway, he is the best lyricist ever. Just listen to his beats, you never find a wordplay better than this even when you're playing scrabbles.
Bo fo Sho
walkin my poodles, man it never gets old with my dogs on my leash i got bitches on the hold, a first aids kit? thats a rhesus monkey, i bust more nuts than a pistachio junkie! get more ass than a giant donkey stable, got more lines than whitney houston's coffee table, i get more head than grammar school lice, i'm like a walkin glacier i'm so decked out with ice.
Did you poop a virgin? cause that shit is tight. jack ain't black, barry ain't white. i do drugs in the bedroom, lie on ur back cause i got the pipe and you got the crack. though i'm sexually straight, your bound to find, i'm mentally gay, cause i'll blow your mind. the parents be snickerin "he shouldnt have written it" but i'm constipated, couldnt give a shit.
chorus: My name is bo fo sho, a born bostonian, aryan librarian at the WORDsmithsonian the rap is scattered, it hides its ingenuity, i gave it this little part to give it continuity.
the fellas say hey moron pass the gin cause i'm an OXYmoron breathing OXYgen give me the bottle, i'll chug two thirds cause you bitches know fractions speak louder than words
and the ladies say hey fellas i'm keepin it tight and if you play ur cards right you can have me tonight should i blow you or beat you, brass or percussion? oh stop, PERIOD end of discussion
chorus...
walking through the garden with food at my feet, picked up the celery but dropped the beat (beet).
we're in the hood ill take what you give me was einstein's theory good...relatively a smart queen's kingdumb, it doesnt mix a litter of literates, a bunch of moby dicks "get thee to a punnery" o-just to-pheelia take you with a condomn "stainless-steal" ya. half a pound of turkey breast, half a pound of chicken tits, why are only crackers staying at the Ritz? poverty, racism, isn't it strange, that only the homeless are beggin for change? i shocked Sherlock What, son? (watson) (watt, son?) Rosa Parks didnt call "shotgun"! here's a bit of irony a Ford Focus driver has ADD How'd i come to master all these things? like a tampon theif, i had to pull some strings.
Bert: Why are you carrying a shotgun? Man with shotgun: Because I want to kill the crickets. They make hella noise and I can't sleep!! Bert: OK, I understand that, but why are you naked? Naked man with shotgun: They only chirp during awkward silence. Come on grab my penis!
... is boring. But politics in America in the other hand is like watching an episode of The Hills. Ok for those who are not familiar with The Hills, let me give you a brief explaination. The Hills mostly is about LC, or Lauren Conrad, a rich girl from Laguna Bitch Beach. In Laguna Beach, she was like a side character who always get bullied but other rich girls, one of them was the uber mega bitch Kristen Cavallari (whatever she spells her name). So she moved to LA (hence The Hills) to start a new life. She enrolled to some fashion college coz she's like, creative and shit. Along the way, she picked up a roommate, a superficial dumb blonde named Heidi Montag who enrolled to the same college.
Unlike the fake hardworking LC, Heidi is a party animal who enjoyed the blinding lights of LA unlike some redneck place she came from. Ok now back to LC, the 'star' of the show. LC then accepted as an intern at Teen Vogue magazine and befriend with the uninteresting and blah Whitney Port, another intern. She later came to know Brody Jenner, the son of US Olympian Bruce Jenner and half-sibling of Ray-J's porn bitch Kim Kardasian. Jenner brings along his entorage crew and BFF, Spencer Pratt, a scheming douchebag. LC hates Spencer like, totally, coz Spencer told everyone that there's a video of LC fucking Jason Wahler, a douche she fell in love with in her Laguna Beach days. Spencer then hooked up with Heidi, which make LC hate him even more. LC then fought with Heidi, resulting Heidi to move out with Spencer.
So LC had to find a new roommate, and this is where Audrina Patridge came into the picture. Audrina is a dumb brunette with funny eyes whose boyfriend is Justin last-name-not-important, a slimey 'musician'. LC has this knack of disliking her BFF's boyfriend, so she hates Justin too. She later launched this cold war against Audrina, and recruited her former BFF, a chubby Lo Bosworth. Lo tried to win over LC's heart (probably to get her more airtime in the show) by widening the distance between LC and Audrina. Audrina later moved out of their house. LC, ever a mega whore then hooked up with Aurina's boyfriend, Justin. To piss LC off, Audrina then befriend with Heidi and Spencer.
OK let's recap. LC hates Kristen C., Jason, Heidi, Spencer, Audrina and Justin. Wow, that's like, half of the world. *I'm sorry if the story is not accurate. I don't watch The Hills that often.*
In real life, LC is like Hillary Clinton. She is the senator of New York, and was the first lady of America. Upon bidding to be the first female president of US, she had to face Obama, who's bidding to be the first black president. That's like, so gangsta. Then Obama won the Democrat's presidential ticket, like, duh. Obama then has to face the ancient ex-POW, John McCain, the Republican presidential candidate.
Even though everyone was egging Obama to make Hillary Conrad Clinton his running vice president, Obama chosen a more conservative looking Joe Biden, in a bid to make his campaign looks normal (coz making HC the first vice president really make the Democrat's camp looks like a circus). To make GOP's presidential bid look more hip, McCain appointed a female redneck from Alaska, Sarah Palin whose hobby includes guns, hockey, flute and 6-pack. OMG, Sarah Palin is so like Heidi Montag, but with black hair and Tina Fey eyeglasses. Then media attention totally shifted towards Sarah when her virginal underage daughter went preggo. Like some uncool obese high school emo retard, Sarah was subjected to intense bullying from the media (although I must admit, for a pitbull on lipstick, Sarah is actually an above average hot middle aged woman).
OK so Hillary is not like LC, like at all, but the drama is. It looks like Obama may win the race, and have to pick up the shit George Dubya Bush left behind. Good luck with that, brother.
If there's no presidential/VP debate, McCain can win this year's election, but Sarah Palin and $700 bil bailout messes the GOP presidential campaign. Anyway, if McCain win this election, America will possibly recreate the real life Commander In Chief, a cancelled TV show starring Geena Davis. Basically the show is about Geena Davis's character (the name's not important-just like any other women politician), who was picked by this president candidate to be his running vp in a calculated strategy move, and that man actually won. Like a few weeks after his inauguration, the prez died and Geena Davis became the prez. If McCain win, Sarah Palin, The Miss South Carolina of Politics, will become the first woman president, because lets face it... McCain is like 100 years old, he'll be dead soon. And I bet Tina Fey will be her body double in public appearance because she does looks like Palin and she's smarter. And Sarah Palin maybe hated her and wanted her to be killed by a random assassin or whatever.
