Randomination

keep it real! I'm front'n
Yasmin II
Yasmin
Ikmal Edris
Kit
war
Wira
Sabree
jumpingJane
Armand
Guo
Amad Eimang
Raj
Abby
Ted
Ina
Nadia
Caryn
Hati Batu
Izwan Azrul
Haider
Gidong
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© 2008 gdjock@yahoo.com
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Hitz.FM
This is my fave radio station, since like 1994. I want to write more but I'm terribly sleepy. I'll edit this later...


Ean


Adam C


Azura

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posted at 3:39 AM   0 comments
Dicktionary
New words (with new meaning) for your daily babble

Coffee (n.) : the person upon whom one coughs.

Flabbergasted (adj.) : appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

Abdicate (v.) : to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

Esplanade (v.) : to attempt an explanation while drunk.

Willy-Nilly (adj.) : impotent.

Negligent (adj.) : absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

Lymph (v.) : to walk with a lisp.

Gargoyle (n.) : olive-flavored mouthwash.

Flatulence (n.) : emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

Balderdash (n.) : a rapidly receding hairline.

Testicle (n.) : a humorous question on an exam.

Rectitude (n.): the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

Pokemon (n.) : a Rastafarian proctologist.

Oyster (n.) : a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

Frisbeetarianism (n.) : the belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

Circumvent (n.) : an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

Cashtration (n.): The act of buying (or building) a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize that it was your money to start with.

Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.

Karmageddon: It's when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, and then the Earth explodes and it's a serious bummer.

Decafalon: (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

Glibido: All talk and no action.

Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

Arachnoleptic Fit ( n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

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Thursday, September 27, 2007
Inspirational....

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posted at 9:43 PM   1 comments
Hey there Delilah
"Hey There Delilah"

Hey there Delilah
What's it like in New York City?
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Times Square can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true

Hey there Delilah
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice it's my disguise
I'm by your side

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me

Hey there Delilah
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me girl
Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar
We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good

Hey there Delilah
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I'd write it all
Even more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me

A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Delilah I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame

Hey there Delilah
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You'll know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah here's to you
This ones for you

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me.

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posted at 9:42 PM   0 comments
Imagined Conversations & Actual Conversations
Imagined
ME: Jeff?
GUY I KIND OF DATED MANY YEARS AGO: Hey Mindy!
ME: How are you? Long time no see.
GIKODMYA: I know! I’m good. You still doing the comedy thing?
ME: Yeah, you still doing the investment banking thing?
GIKODMYA: Yup. (he orders his coffee from the barista) Do you want something? My treat.
ME: Yeah. Latte, skim milk, a little vanilla. Thanks!
GIKODMYA: Well it’s the least I could do after the way I treated you. I was such as asshole.
ME: Whatever, it was soo long ago.
GIKODMYA: You look great by the way.
ME: Thanks! (I take my free coffee) Well good to see you.
GIKODMYA: You too. (he watches me walk away with a wistful one-that-got-away type look)

Actual
ME: Jeff?
GIKODMYA: Yeah?
ME: Hi.
GIKODMYA: Hi.
ME: How are you? Long time no see.
GIKODMYA: Uh, yeah. Right. Long time.
ME: You have no idea who I am.
GIKODMYA: No I know who you are. I just didn’t recognize you at first because…you changed you hair.
ME: Yeah, it used to be blonde.
GIKODMYA: Right!
ME: No, I was never blonde. (awkward silence) It’s Mindy.
GIKODMYA: Oh, Mindy! Oh my god! Hi! Right, Mindy. Hi!
ME: You still have no idea who I am. (he shakes his head) Okay… forget it, this is really awkward.
GIKODMYA: Oh. Oh wait, did we hook up?
ME: Yeah.
GIKODMYA: New Years? 2005?
ME: No.
GIKODMYA: Oh.
ME: It was ongoing.
GIKODMYA: Oh.
ME: For about three months.
GIKODMYA: Oh.
ME: And then you told me you were too busy with work to date.
GIKODMYA: Oh
ME: And then you drunk dialed me numerous times afterwards asking me for “late night bjs”
GIKODMYA: Wow, that’s really lame.
ME: Yeah.
GIKODMYA: Did you ever come over?
ME: No.
GIKODMYA: Oh. (an awkwardly awkward silence) Well nice to see you Mandy.

_________________________________

Imagined
HOT MUSCULAR ISRAELI LOCKSMITH INSTALLING MY DEADBOLT: So you live here alone?
ME: No.
HMILIMD: You live with roommate?
ME: No, boyfriend.
HMILIMD: Oh, that’s too bad. You are hot.
ME: Oh, thank you. ( I cast my eyes down as if he’s embarrassing me)
HMILIMD: I want to stop screwing in this bolt and screw you right here on your sofa.
ME: I’m sorry I’m can’t. I’m spoken for.
HMILIMD: But I must have you NOW.
ME: No, you have to control yourself! Please, put your shirt back on!
HMILIMD: I beg you, if you won’t let me screw you on your sofa right now, then at least let me install this lock for you without wearing a shirt.
ME: Okay, I guess that’s fair.

Actual
HMILIMD: So you live here alone?
ME: No.
HMILIMD: You live with roommate?
ME: No, boyfriend.
HMILIMD: Me too.

___________________________________

Imagined
ME: Good morning!
BOYFRIEND: Good morning! I’m so glad we set the alarm early so I could pleasure you before I have to go to work.
ME: Me too! And isn’t it great that we both got a full 8 hours of sleep and are feeling refreshed and energized.
BOYFRIEND: Yeah!
ME: (lots of orgasms later) Uh oh, looks like we’re both going to be late today.
BOYFRIEND: Oh well. One more time?
ME: Sure!

Actual
ME: Uhhhh, turn it off!
BOYFRIEND: You.
ME: No, you.
BOYFRIEND: You’re closer.
ME: Fine!
BOYFRIEND: Why is it going off now?
ME: We set it early.
BOYFRIEND: Oh, right. You wanna? Or you wanna sleep?
ME: Okay, yeah, okay.
BOYFRIEND: Wake up.
ME: You wake up.
BOYFRIEND: I’m up.
ME: Me too.
BOYFRIEND: Okay, roll over to me.
ME: No, you roll over to me.
BOYFRIEND: No, you roll over to me.
ME: Okay. (he farts) Ewww, not under the covers!
BOYFRIEND: It’s that Indian food we had. (I fart) Aw, come on!
ME: You did it first!
BOYFRIEND: Well yours smells.
ME: Does not! Yours smells.
BOYFRIEND: Well let’s wait until the smells go away.
ME: Okay. (10 seconds later) Uh, it smells!
BOYFRIEND: I’m resetting the alarm.
ME: Okay. (we both go back to sleep.)

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posted at 9:37 PM   0 comments
Saturday, September 22, 2007
The first


Sheikh Muszaphar Shukor will be the first Malaysian and muslim in space. These are some reason I thought he was selected to be the first (and probably the last) Malaysian astronaut...

  1. He is good looking. Everybody loves goodlooking heroes. Perfect posterboy.

  2. He is a doctor. So he is assumed to be intelligent.

  3. He is a malay. He will represent MALAYsia isn't it?

  4. He is goodlooking.

  5. He is hansome.

  6. He is pretty.

  7. He is a model. Literally. Doctor cum model cum astronaut. Izzit just perfect?

  8. He is beautiful.

  9. He is goodlooking.

  10. Oh, did I mention that he is good-looking?

Malaysia Boleh!



correction: He is not the first muslim. She went there before him. The first muslim in space is Muhammad.

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posted at 7:14 AM   1 comments
Sad day

This morning I woke up very late. In between sleeping and waking up, I heard the radio (which I forgot to switch off yesterday) yapping about the day's news. Mourinho leave Chelsea. YAY! And then the news came... Nurul Jazlin is dead. My heart sunk. I lay on my bed...felt like im dying too. Naturally I'm too ego-ish to cry, but inside I'm screaming.

Like 3 weeks after Nuril Jazlin reported missing, a dead girl was found stuffed inside a gym bag. At first people start to say that the dead girl is Jazlin, but after being identified by Jazlin's parents, it was concluded the poor dead body is not Jazlin's.

Then the DNA test results came, and it was confirmed that the dead girl is Jazlin.

I've seen the dead girl's pic and it's was ... y'know. She looked peaceful, like she's sleeping or something. But who knows what she'd been through. I mean, when she was found, they found a brinjal and cucumber inside her. I know this is sick, but at least I hope the stuff was inserted when she was dead, so she wont suffer. I hope that they found that sick fuck and run that fuck over and over again with train. If not, let the media just release his name and I'm sure street justice will prevail. People will kick his ass like a ravaged wolverine, whatever it is, but you get my point.

To Jazlin's parents and family, be strong. We all has plans but God's plan is the greatest.

Rest in peace baby girl.





Apologize By One Republic ft Timbaland

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posted at 1:50 AM   0 comments
Thursday, September 13, 2007
I wish somebody love me like this (II)...

Albert Reilly (21) never woke up after telling his girlfriend that he felt unwell before going to bed


From Albert's girlfriend's myspace -


"I fucking woke up, went to wrap my arms around my fiance, and something stopped me. i opened my eyes, to look up at his blue eyes looking down on me. the shade of his eyes matched the color of his lips. i put my hand on his head, his skin was cold. my heart instantly broke. i felt myself swell up inside. i thought i was going to be sick. the night before, on the way up to bed he told me " i love you my babygirl, i hope i get to wake up to see your beautiful face tomorrow" i said albert stop it baby your fine. we layed down, and the whole time he just kept repeating himself, "im going to die. i dont feel good. i love you babygirl. i dont want to leave you on bad terms, your my babygirl & i love you." i just calmly said back 'baby it will be okay, your gonna wake up tomorrow and be fine'. i didnt think he was actually telling me the truth. hes my fucking superman, and superman NEVER dies. im his kryptanite, im the only thing that can make him weak. i will wait forever for him. i need his body next to mine, his arms around me. his lips kissing mine. i need him now, and ill need him forever. my angel, my superman, my everything. "

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posted at 9:18 PM   0 comments
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
30 hari tanpa rokok

Kepada semua rakan taulan dan umat sedunia...


Selamat Berpuasa...


Semoga amalan kita diberkatiNya


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posted at 10:10 PM   0 comments
Monday, September 10, 2007
Mark Wahlberg

This dude's maybe a lil' bit on the veteran side, but he can snap your head off bare handed. Just look at his guns!
Salute!


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posted at 1:37 AM   0 comments
'Matthew McConaughey'

This dude must be forgotten that he's old. He looks like damn Kevin Costner!

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posted at 1:33 AM   0 comments
Lets make it official
I hate Corbin Bleu!

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posted at 1:32 AM   0 comments
Kelly Slater
I want to be like Kelly Slater when I grow up.























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posted at 1:27 AM   0 comments
Open Source
I have tonnes of work to do and yet I only do one thing I love to do
My hobby
Killing time
by watching movies






High School Musical 2




I watched it alone coz God forbid if anyone saw me watch this flick, they'd call me gay, and blackmail me, and this will hunt me for the rest of my life. I kinda puked in my mouth while watching this movie coz it's full of cliches, and bullshit, and you can see what's going to happen like a mile away. Everytime I see Vanessa Hudgens, I kept seeing her naked picture in my head. And I hate that Corbin Bleu guy. His hair is distracting, and he's too perky for a guy, and he act like he's a jock, and I'm like oh really? You are a jock, Mr. Corbin? More like a fag to me!




Antitrust





Like the movie's mantra, knowledge belongs to the people; I downloaded the movie at divxtube.ca. The movie came out when I'm still studying. So it's kinda 'down the memory lane' thing. Its about a bunch of geek who are working in some code, and then one of them is hired by the major software company, and when random computer programmers turned up dead, the hero (Ryan Phillipe) tries to oust the villain (turned up to be the company's CEO) coz one of the dead programmer was his buddy, and (spoiler ahead) finally he manage to do so, and made the codes open source. The hero looks nothing like a geek, and the villain (Tim Robbin) looks like a buffed up Bill Gates. Come to think about it, perhaps this movie is based on Linux programme? I mean like who knows?

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posted at 12:23 AM   1 comments
Sunday, September 09, 2007
College Humour
If you want dirty humour, funny picture, insane video, just click on collegehumour.com

They compiled the funniest american college stuff in form of pics, vids and articles. Predominant members are whites, so expect bigot rednecks, nerdy geeks and girl on girl actions.
They are the dope.

Make sure that you read the comments coz its where you can find the humour.
Right assholes?!

























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posted at 5:26 PM   0 comments
Saturday, September 08, 2007
63 way to piss off a police officer

1. When you get pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?"

2. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you wanted to race.

3. When he talks to you, pretend you are deaf.

4. If he asks if you knew how fast you were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to......

5. Ask if you can see his gun.

6. When he says you aren't allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.

7. Touch him.

8. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you had to buy a hat.

9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.

10. Refer to him by his first name.

11. Pretend you are gay and ask him out.

12. When he says no, cry.

13. If he says yes, accuse him of sexual harassment.

14. If the cop is a woman, tell her how ugly she is, but in a nice way.

15. If he asks you to step out of the car, automatically throw yourself on the hood.

16. When he asks you to spread them, tell him you don't go that way.

17. When he puts the handcuffs on, say "Usually my dates buy me dinner first"

18. Ask to be fingerprinted with candy, cause you don't like ink on your fingers.

19. After you sign the ticket and give it to him, say "Oops! That's the wrong name."

20. Bribe him with donuts, and when he agrees, tell him sorry, I just ate the last one.

21. When he comes up to the car, say "License and registration, please" right when he says it.

22. When he goes to read you your rights, sing "La La La, I can't hear you!"

23. Trip and fall into him.

24. Accuse him of police brutality when he pushes you away.

25. Before you sign the ticket, pick your nose. You have to sign with his pen.

26. Chew on the pen, nervously.

27. Clean your ear with the pen.

28. If it's a click pen, take it apart and play with the spring.

29. Ask if he has a daughter. If he says yes, say I thought the name sounded familiar.....

30. Ask him if he ever worked in a prison. If he says yes, ask him how the plumbing was.

31. Act like you are retarded.

32. When he's telling you what you did wrong, start repeating him, quietly.

33. Mumble to yourself.

34. When he tells you to stop, say what are you talkin about, DUDE?

35. Drive to Dunkin Donuts and say hmmm....only 5 of you here tonight.......

36. Ask if they know how to make the donuts.

37. When he comes to the car, say I have a badge just like yours!

38. Ask if he watches Cops.

39. Ask if ever watched Cop Rock.

40. Giggle if he did.

41. Talk to your hand.

42. Ask if he knows somone named Rosy Palm and her Five Favorite Friends.

43. Accuse him of Sexual Harassment if he does.

44. When he frisks you, say You missed a spot, and grin.

45. When he asks to inspect your car, say there is no alcohol in my car, sir, the last cop got it.

46. Try to sell him your car.

47. Ask if you can buy his car.

48. If he takes you to the station, Ask to sit in front.

49. Play with the siren.

50. If you know him, say you had his wife for dinner.

51. If you don't know him, ask if you can have his wife for dinner. Oops...I meant OVER for dinner

52. Ask if he ever had pu-tang er.

53. If he asks what it is, point at him and giggle.

54. If there is someone else in the car, talk to each other in tongues.

55. When he acts confused, keep talking, look at him and laugh.

56. When you are in the back, touch his neck through the fencing.

57. Turn your head and whistle.

58. When he pulls out his night stick, say what you gonna do with that.

59. If you are female, say I don't do that on the first date.

60. If he sticks you in the back of the car, cower in the corner, suck your thumb, and whine.

61. Stare at his lights and say "Look at the pretty colors!"

62. Tell him you like men in uniform.

63. Ask if you can borrow his uniform for a Halloween party

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posted at 5:35 PM   0 comments
need no caption

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posted at 3:38 PM   0 comments
Girls like to shit everywhere
There is always a rule that boys are gross. More like farting or like to smell their own boxer/socks kinda gross. But the next vid bring grossiness to a whole new level. This proved that no matter how hot chicks looks, they are way gross-er than the dudes.


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posted at 1:48 AM   0 comments
Friday, September 07, 2007
The Therapist's Son

Sean Johnson, 9, sits in the school cafeteria eating his lunch when Ron Gunner, the school bully approaches.
Ron: Hey loser, give me your sandwich.
Sean: Well, Ron, this is my only source of nourishment until I get home but if you'd like a bite I'd be more than happy to break you off a piece of...
Ron: Gimme the sandwich punk! I could crush you with one hand tied behind my back.
Sean: I don't doubt that that's true. But it certainly does speak to your own insecurities that you'd need to prove your physical prowess over someone who's nearly half your size.
Ron: What are you talking about you moron?
Sean: I'd really just like to eat my lunch in peace so if you continue I'm going to have to...
Ron: What? Are you gonna tell your mommy?
Sean: Actually my mother and I have a very open relationship.
Ron: Gross! You probably do it with your mom don't you!
Sean: Although it's not uncommon for pre-adolescent boys to grapple with a strange maternal attachment which often does contain sexual undertones I can't say I have ever done it with my mother.
Ron: Yeah...well...you're gay.
Sean: I would have to disagree on the grounds that I've had a massive crush on Stacy Hirschfeld since Kindergarten. Perhaps though your desire to call my own sexual orientation into question is actually just a projection and reflects certain feelings that you've been having lately.
Ron: Uh...yeah...well at least I don't stay home studying every night so that I can get A's on every single test.
Sean: Oh, I actually only study for about an hour each day and spend quite a bit of my recreational time engaged in other pursuits like soccer and playing with my Nintendo Wii System. Maybe if you worked harder at time management your grades would not suffer as much as they do. Then again, I understand the immense difficulties children from broken homes face whenit comes to academics. And it probably doesn't help that your father left your mother when she became paralyzed. That's quite a great deal of baggage for such a young boy to be carrying.
Ron starts to break down and cry like a little girl.
Ron: Sean, you're right. I hate my father. You're the only one who understands me.
Sean: I know, I know. But you don't have to be such a pussy about it.

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posted at 3:55 PM   0 comments
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
Mortal Combat!


awesome!

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posted at 7:23 PM   0 comments
Care Bears!


I think that everybody shared my sentiment that panda is a fluffy animal. It's like a fluff white cotton with black eyed head and a pair of ears. Everytime you see it at zoo or in China, you just want to hug and bury your face into their hairy chest.

Well actually panda is a very private animal, so once you mess with it in its serene environment, they are soooo capable to rip your head off just like *snap* that. They are actually the real china's taikor.
The only way to disgrace a panda is to totally shave its fur off his body. Look how pissed it is.



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posted at 7:03 PM   0 comments
These are so wrong





















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posted at 1:25 PM   0 comments
Our Burden
Semua negara Islam digalakkan menyokong pembebasan negara Palestine. Setiap Jumaat kat tempat aku, lepas sembahyang Jumaat, mesti ada doa panjang berjela untuk kebahagiaan palestine. Tapi tahukah korang macammana orang yang korang sibuk-sibukkan nak bebaskan ni?

Well, generally orang-orang palestin ni degil dan sombong. Disebabkan negara dia diceroboh, oleh saudara mereka sendiri, kaum yahudi, dia menganggap semua negara-negara islam berhutang dengan diorang. Sebab tu orang-orang palestine yang berhijrah ke negara orang lain, duduk mengangkang senang lenang, walhal family sendiri separuh mati kena bantai kat kampung diorang- berlagak. Macam diorang ni tuan kat negara kita. Degil nak mampus, tak nak dengar cakap orang. Apasal la diorang tak mati kena tembak masa kecik2. Sekarang bila aku tengok gamba budak2 palestin mati kena tembak, aku dah tak kesian sebab everything happens for a reason. Mungkin bila budak tu besar dia akan menyusahkan orang, macam budak2 palestin yang aku kena deal ni.




But of course tak semua orang palestine macam tu. Dalam banyak2 orang palestine yang aku kenal, cuma SATU saje yang ok. Yang lain perangai mengalahkan yahudi. Memang patut diorang kena jajah.

Palestine Motherfucker!

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posted at 10:05 AM   0 comments
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Dear Camelia
Please stop being stupid







Everyone knows people wear serban on the head!

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posted at 5:59 PM   0 comments
Monday, September 03, 2007
This is SO WRONG

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posted at 12:38 AM   0 comments
Sunday, September 02, 2007

officially the most idiot chick in the world

idiot but hot

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posted at 4:45 AM   1 comments
sean kingston is fugly
gag

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posted at 4:16 AM   0 comments
These are SO WRONG...













































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posted at 2:00 AM   0 comments
Saturday, September 01, 2007
Sewell & Marbury Global Markets and Investment Banking Groups: The Repost


Sewell & Marbury
Global Markets and Investment Banking Groups
So what's up with the title you might ask... well I just watched the final trilogy of the Bourne series, Bourne Ultimatum, and it is an awesome flick. Still sticking with the amnesia thing. it doesn't deviate away from it's predecessor, like the car chases, the same chick (Julia Stiles), and the overly used CIA theme. Ultimately I enjoyed the film. Matt Damon is one short tough dude. And the Sewell & Marbury thing, it came out in the film, so I figured out that some movie buff will google it and find this shiz.
**UPDATE
oh my god!
the sewell & marbury thing just got bigger
at least 2 blogger used my placebo web page picture thingy in their blogger (here and here)
this is like awesome!
even Jason Bourne himself commented on my page
When will you kill me Jason?
I hope that you are not as short as Matt Damon
***UPDATE
Now my blog is mentioned in wikipedia. Awesome!

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posted at 8:53 PM   0 comments

Every Man For Himself

“Count your smiles instead of your tears; Count your courage instead of your fears.”

~ Unknown

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

~ Maya Angelou

“The secret of Happiness is Freedom, and the secret of Freedom, Courage.”

~ Thucydides

“Everything becomes a little bit different as soon as it is spoken out loud”

~ Hermann Hesse





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