keep it real! I'm front'n
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Thursday, February 28, 2008
2007 World Press Photo prize

"A picture worth a thousand words"


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posted at 10:33 AM   0 comments
For giggles and shiz
image deleted by author
Plainview Maxi Pad
(from CollegeHumor)

I made this pic and submit it to collegehumor.com
Just riding the hype.

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posted at 3:53 AM   0 comments
Old people

I am a huge music fan. It evokes the deepest emotions in me whether its euphoric or melancholic. However, there's another kind of sound bites that I love. The sound of old people talking. I can't really explain it. Perhaps there are tones of wiseness underneath the narrated stories or fragility of shaken voices that penetrate deep into my soul. Yes, sometimes they can be snarlingly sarcastic, or even bitter, but you can’t deny that there's love in every frequency of sound waves that come from the deepest love within their heart.

When I get old, I'll be like, pure evil bitter old man.

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Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Old Pictures

**click at the pix to see more

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Monday, February 25, 2008
missed call

simply breaks my heart


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posted at 9:18 PM   0 comments
No Country For Old Men

Ed Tom Bell. I think I'm Ed Tom Bell. Or something like him, coz I can relate to him. Life is so full of surprises. Sometimes you hit the jackpot, and sometimes it is shitty all day long. Sometimes you are chasing and sometimes you are being hunted. As Einstein put it, stupidity is limitless. You make a wrong decision in split second, and have consequences come knocking your door for the rest of your life. On the other hand you prey on someone who probably has wronged you, keep telling yourself that your are upholding justice. Later, when you play back your life in your head, you realize that you should have done something different but obviously there's nothing you can do about it. You just sit ,surrendering and helpless.

No Country For Old Men is a story of Ed Tom Bell, a town sheriff who are on the verge of retirement, musing about life. His past luck and stupidity is presented in the form of Moss, a lone NAM vet tough guy with a loving wife, who stumbled upon hundreds kilos of coke and a bag full of money in a midst of gruesome bloodbath. Although he knows that he'll be hunted for the money, he take it anyways and even return to the scene to grab the heroin. And then there's Bell's inner justice, in a form of psychotic assassin, Chigurh. Chigurh destroys anything on his path to get Moss, even slaying innocent smelly old people who happens to cross path with him. This cat and mouse game ends as what it suppose to be, and life goes on as there's nothing he can do about it.

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Thursday, February 21, 2008
Cruz Beckham is the shit!!
This is too much to handle!

Cruz Beckham break down his awesome b-boy-ing skills on stage.
Bet we know who wont be a football player, no?


Bringing down da house

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Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Bully PWND
How to deal with a bully

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A childhood revisited

I can't sleep, so I decided to do something useful other than laying on the bed fantasizing naughty thoughts. I looked at the collection of my vids and since I felt nostalgic tonight, I picked out Mukhsin, a film by Yasmin Ahmad.

Well, basically the story evolves around Orked and her first love, Mukhsin. While my first love is nothing romantic like what was depicted in the film, the childhood stuff is eerily similar to mine. And right now, I wonder do all Malaysian have the same childhood as mine, or I'm just special. Kidding.


If you are a boy, having a bicycle is a must. While most of my friends have either BMX's or DIY custom made chopper-BMX hybrids, I had a special thing for Raleigh bicycles or Basikal Tua. I remember, riding the bicycle for the first time is a bitch especially the falling part. Once, I scraped my chest and belly after a jumping-off-the-bicycle stunt gone wrong. But there is one incident that I will always remember if I spot a Raleigh bicycle.

It was like one of my first attempt to ride a bicycle, solo, and the bicycle was so big, once I sat on the seat, my skinny short feet could not reach the ground. So I rode the bicycle for like 5 miles nonstop in a burning hot afternoon sun because I just could not stop, or I will fall like a bitch. Not even extreme thirst or tiredness could stop me. Eventually, I got off the bike when I bumped on a crossing sheep and fell down, and I never been happier falling down. Needless to say, I walked home to my grandma's pushing the bike. All 5 miles of it. And FYI, I ride my bicycle again just only ONE day after I was circumcised. After like 100 meters, my grandpa noticed and turned berserk. Haha, I love you Atok!

"Life is like riding a bicycle, in order to balance it, you have to move forward" - Albert Einstein

Kite Playing

My grandma's house don’t have many open spaces save for the road. So one day, me and my older brother, Abg. Zul decided to play kite since we were bored. He made the kite from scratch, using newspaper and bamboo sticks. We managed to fly the kite on the road in the midst of coconut, rambutan and durian trees. The sole kite flew so high, it almost touched the sun. However, due to our miscommunication (Read: my stubbornness), the thread snapped, and our baby disappeared. Undeterred, we initiated a search rescue party (of two) but it was fruitless.

The next day, we both ride to the shop (like 5 kilometers away) and brought 2 plastic kites. By the time I reached my grandma's, my butt was completely numb and I felt legless, because I have to sit at the back legs dangling while Abg. Zul paddled the bike. The second voyage was another success. It even flew higher and there were other kites on the sky, as if yesterday's kite was a challenge invitation, and other Muar's sons accept our dare. That night, I kept staring at the kite, wondering how it feels to be so high.
**Side note: In the middle of our journey home, we fell from the bike, and I broke Abg. Zul's kite.

Abg. Zul is the best brother you could ever ask, even though he's not my real brother. In my eyes, he's the coolest person, ever.

The Gang

Don't be surprised, but there are triads among the children. They have their headquarters and strong holds. Me and my cousins were basically a clan, and we played everything together. Unlike sibling rivalries, there's no backstabbing when we had an internal or external fights (external: fight with other gangs). Basically there were two major period, the morning period and the evening period. In the morning period, we played indoor games among ourselves, like a game of talent search singing competition, or an action packed bank heist (or polis polis), or melodrama soap opera (emak emak/masak masak where at least one character will die). In the evening period, after a green light from the higher authority (read: parents) we descended to the battleground where several clans met and have a duel of our life. Every activity come to halt once the summon siren is heard (Read: Mothers' yell).

Religious Class

One of the dreaded period of the day. The class usually started after twilight, at the mosque or fierce old people's home. Other than being force to read under duress, other loath factor for this period of time was the way back home after the class. Mine was across a creepy and dark cocoa farm, a place where hantu pocong and pontianak lurks. To avoid being eaten by these ghouls, we move as a herd and recite prayers in loud unison, and when panic attacks, we run as fast as we can, abandoning the group and weaker crying girls behind. Every man for himself bitches.

Nature as a playground

Before the invention of TV/video games, or at least before everyone could afford it, nature was a vast playground for children. I did almost everything. I especially love pitting spiders (or what we called ‘King’), and killing innocent stupid birds using sling shot. At least that’s not my intention, but all of my prey turned up dead. I also love to have a good bath at the then unpolluted river, against my father’s warning of course. Once I was spotted by my dad (who was tipped by my backstabbing sister), and I didn’t dared to return home for the whole day. Other than that, I enjoyed stealing fruits at other people’s orchard. On one occasion, we were caught, and I expertly flee the scene leaving behind my sister. Haha. Turned out the orchard was one of our relative’s.

Ahh... The age of not so innocence...

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posted at 12:02 AM   2 comments
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Ghetto Queen
If there's such thing as the past life, I think I was a black woman. A hot bootylicious black woman that is. Ok, this is how I imagine my life if I am a black woman...

Hey its yo girl, Dominik. Dominik right now, is walking to the beauty shop to have Dominik's wigs and face done, and of course to meet with Dominik's girls. Dominik knows, Dominik attracts wondering eyes coz there's aint no queen in Harlem other than Dominik. Dominik knows Dominik is so fine. You can't put a price on all this phat booty and puppies. Dominik knows every man want to dip this hot coochie, but Dominik already has a man. Dominik will tell you later about that.

When Dominik arrives at the Letiqua's Beauty Shop, the air filled with joyous celebration, coz they know the queen has arrived fo' sho. Everyone greeted Dominik with hugs and kisses, and Dominik feel the love. There's Lashanda, Monique, Paprica, Camille, Ebony but Dominik ain't see no Kiesha...

"Yo, where's Kiesha? Bitch better not be frontin'..." Dominik holler'd.

"Girl, haven't you heard? She got black eyes after she bumps with Moesha. That's what what you got when you jumpin' other hoe's man. She had it coming." Monique replies under the heavy curling heater.

"Man, that's trippin'. Is she ok?" Deminik is concern.

"Bitch with Momma D's. She's gonna be aite. But whatever, its aint her fault. Moesha is so damn ugly, she looked out her window and was arrested for indecent exposure!" Ebony hisses followed with eruptuous laughters form the girls.

"Amen to that! She's so ugly, her momma had to be Pissed drunk just to breast feed her." Camille chipped in.

"Her momma is so fat, she was measured at 38-26-36 and that was just the left arm..." Lashanda shares her wit.

Ahhh... Dominik loves her gurls. They may be not as pretty as Dominik, but they are the hands that put Dominik on this padestal. They are also the place to go when Dominik faces trouble. Like the day when Kareem dumped Dominik for that sleazy hoe Ayesha, or the nite when Marcus hit Dominik so bad, the girls went crayzay and kick his ass so bad, and sent him to jail fo good. Aint no thugz better mess with us.

So tonight Dominik is hittin the club with the girls. Mr.B's iz the shyt to be. Got the most delish boys you could get your hands on to. Dominik put on this tiny top that'll put Lil' Kim to shame, and enough blings that'll make any nigga go blind.

The DJ plays Dominik's home gurl Ciara's jam, and the dancefloor is flooded with humpin and grindin. While Dominik is enjoying Dominik's Panties Dropper, a fine playa come talkin to Dominik.

"Hey yo baby girl. I aint understand why a girl so fine, so lonely tonite"

"I aint lonely. Me and my girls just chillin, waitin a right man to come." Dominik decides to go with the flow.

"Baby gurl, I'm the man you been waitin fo."

"Kurli hair with dem soft lucious lips. Sexy thighs with dem fuckin killa hips. Ghetto ass with da most tightest jeans. I'll be dat sexy gurl dats up in your dreams." Dominik casts a bait.

"Aite.. aite.."Boy is lickin his lips.

"Please tell your pants that it's not polite to point!" Dominik in hoe autopilot.

"I lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you tonight?" Playa is playin'..

"With the lace thongs and the work of my tongue. Beautiful eyes - phat ass - I got you sprung!" Dominik's playin the game.

"If you're gonna kiss me don't make it sassy, use some tongue and make it nasty!" Playa sends waves of electric that made Dominik's cherry tingle.

"Notorious from head to toe, nawty as hell but I aint no hoe" Dominik play it down.

Just as playa is about to kiss this lucious lips, a rude pull came tugging his's shoulder...

"Ayyo bitch! Is the streets lights out, coz my man aint sleepin with no hoe tonite!" Fumed a black ass woman with ugly fro and cheap hoop earrings.

"Aw.. come on Chardonnay. I'm just playin" the playa turns pussy.

"Not now Jay!" The bitch hisses.

"Make sure you can back up, what you flap up... otherwise... shut the fuck up!" Dominik roared.

"Bitch please! You tried to snatch my man, hoe. Ready to make an entrance so back it up. Cuz you know this shorti bout to tear it up!" Bitch can't stop yappin.

The girls are standing, claws out. "I got this." Dominik assures her soulja.

"DOnt get mad when ya man turns around and licks his lips, while sayin 'wait a min'. It aint my fault I was born with these nice ass hips." Flames Dominik.

"Come on bitch wanna get things started? No need to fuck you up, you already look retarded." What? Bitch dares to call Dominik a retard?

"I'm sick of all these lil' bytchez flappin. Keep on yappin... cuz pretty soon Imma start slappin." its the cue line, and my gurls step forward besides Dominik, crackin 'em fingers.

"You really aint that pretty, you really aint that smart. So what gives you da right, to think you can tear people apart?"Bitch start crying.

"You're not worth my time and can't take my place. So whatever you gotta say hoe, say it to my face." Dominik is about to slap the black outta that bitch.

"Come on, Chardonnay, let's go." Pussy Jay pulls his bitch away from Dominik.

"All ya hoes think yo fine? Haha.. bitch please... I'll steal ya man and still keep mine." Bitch throw a cheap shot while retreating to the exit door.

"You talk shit, say it without a trace. Come on be a gangsta chick and say it to ma face. If you cant walk da walk, dont talk da talk. Cuz fake lil bitches get outlined in chalk!" Dominik is keeping her class.

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Friday, February 15, 2008
Ghetto white trash
Now I see why China-people bury baby girls...

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Friday, February 08, 2008
Awesome Roxy

Its Chinese New Year, and I got nowhere to go, so I was like kickin' back and checking on the internet to kill time. I stumbled upon this site, foundmagazine.com. Basically its about stuff people found around them, that intriguing and sometimes funny. Well my ADD infested mind kinda attracted to this 'finding', found by a worker of a physiotherapy clinic in Ontario, Canada.

The note says

"Whoever is reading this I hope you like my drawing. Here is a little story about my life. My name is Roxy and I only have one leg because my other one was cut off because it had cancer."
and at the back of the tissue paper, scribed
"when I was 4 my parents dead cause of a car accident and I was adopted now I'm in grade 4 that's a little story about my life

First, it broke my heart. Kinda feel bad for her. Lost her leg in such a young age. And with cancer, being orphan and adopted, man she's sure must be the unluckiest and saddest kid around.

But, I missed the most important detail. She may be the unluckiest but she's probably the happiest kid alive. Just look at her drawing. The ethereal happy face. With just 3 'magic pen' she somehow manage to say "I'm OK." Roxy, you are my hero. You are the most courageous person I know.

Thank you for the reality check, Roxy.


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Monday, February 04, 2008
A guide to recognizing your saints

A Guide To Recognizing Your Saints.

I left my home when I was 12. I left everyone and everything I love behind. It was painful but I had to do what I got to do. My father, a man with few words, actually once told me to not go away, but I was too eager to face a new place other that my sleepy village. To actually step on a land so foreign, I never dreamt about it before. So there I was, thrust into the world without knowing what will happen. I survived the vultures. Battered, the wounds healed themselves, forming calluses from layers of scars.

My family is my only beacon of hope. Knowing that someone out there waiting and praying for me was good enough to face each shitty day. I have so many personal saints. My mum and dad, I love them with all my heart. My grandmas showered me with so much love, it drowned me.

15 years later, I’m still far from home.

But it’s good to know, that I left everyone, but no one is ever left me.

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posted at 10:57 PM   0 comments

I live a regretful life every single day.

I ponder about my life so far and realize how stupid I am.

If only I can turn back time, I’ll undo everything I’ve done.

I’m so sorry...

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posted at 4:57 PM   0 comments
Good Will Hunting

I usually stick to action movies, the one with enough gore and killing that seems to agree with adrenalin and testosterone in my blood. But sometimes, I like to watch films with 'substance'. The one that make me thinking and realize how suck I am in life. One of these movies is Good Will Hunting.

Roughly, its about this brilliant but badass Boston kid, Will Hunting who posses photographic memories and his discoveries of the importance of life. It was written by Ben Aflfeck and Matt Damon, who also stars in it along side with Robin William, Minnie Driver, Cole Hauser, Casey Affleck and other actors that I can't remember. The acting is top notch, not to mention a brilliant storyline. Robin William is awesome in this movie, and seems to depart from his usual slapstick or crazy fare. His manage to project a battered man who lost the love of his live successfully with smiles that seems bordering tears. Minnie Driver may have the ugliest laugh but her laugh is the most heartfull and sincere. Ben is Matt wingman in the movie (and real life I suppose) who posses unmistakably charisma and charm. Hauser manage to steal some limelight with his silent gestures, which I thought a contrast physically and characteristically from the other actors. Casey is the usual annoying character that make the 'gang' more realistic. And Matt Damon manage to exude the battered soul who pushes everyone and everything around him because he was afraid of rejection he seems to get in his life.

I think I watched the movie before way back before I went to college. Eversince I tried to get a copy of the movie but not to avail. The movie inspired me to be brilliant and at the same time be humble about it. This is easily my favorite movie of all time, along with Fight Club.

You don't know how bad I wish I was Will Hunting...

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Friday, February 01, 2008
The Ultimate Guy Quiz

1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:

a) lovemaking
b) screwing
c) the pigskin bus pulling into tuna town

2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:

a) your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
b) your blood-test results
c) five tequila slammers

3. You time your orgasm so that:

a) your partner climaxes first
b) you both climax simultaneously
c) you don't miss SportsCenter

4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:

a) healthy, creative love-play
b) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend could ever agree to
c) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about

5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:

a) the best part of the experience
b) the second best part of the experience
c) $100 extra

6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is:

a) impossible - she looks too gorgeous!
b) not a problem, she can join your gym
c) a conservative estimate

7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:

a) a myth
b) an oxymoron
c) a moron

8. Foreplay is to sex as:

a) appetizer is to entree
b) primer is to paint
c) a line is to an amusement park ride

9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?

a) "I hope we can still be friends."
b) "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
c) "Welcome to Dumpsville, population, YOU."

10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:

a) probably needs more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy
b) is uptight and a waste of time
c) shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place

Score 1 point for every answer "a"
Score 2 points for every answer "b"
Score 3 points for every answer "c"

Your Score

10 points: You are a saint, a liar, or a eunuch.
11-20 points: You are an average joe. Good luck in the battle of the sexes.
21-30 points: You are a real man's man. Your fear of intimacy with women and your love of men's sports screams latent homosexuality. You need a nice she-male dominatrix to teach you respect.
31-40 You can't add.


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Every Man For Himself

“Count your smiles instead of your tears; Count your courage instead of your fears.”

~ Unknown

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

~ Maya Angelou

“The secret of Happiness is Freedom, and the secret of Freedom, Courage.”

~ Thucydides

“Everything becomes a little bit different as soon as it is spoken out loud”

~ Hermann Hesse

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