I have to admit that I'm a sucker for all things American. Their Hollywood god and goddess are easily the perfect template for the near future human cloning project, their technology and gadgetry is highly cool and fashionable, their pop culture is basically the culture for the world, and even the politics is deliciously gripping, filled with beautiful people. Albeit many countries especially in Asia, hated America for getting its dirty hands into other country's panties (read private issues), I just think that they all are pure sore loser. A whining crying bully victim. A stomped over dead roadkill carcass. I don't mean to be mean, but I think its cool to be in the stronger side.
Everything is palatable in American menu. Their politics is just as cool as the Hollywood movies they provide. Full of drama, enthusiasm and bullshit, and not to mention highly attractive intelligent serious people. It is such a good TV. I'm not saying that Malaysian politicians are unattractive and fugly, but in all honestly, yes they are. Darling, if your face is not for TV, then you should just stick to radio and newspaper interviews. No picture please.
And their campaign is emotionally charged. Every agenda is creatively turned and manipulated into human stories. Kudos to their PR people. And have you watch Obama-Clinton race? Their sexual tension is so thick, you can't cut it even with a chainsaw. And they are perfectly made beautiful charismatic people. I know people will say, politician are elected for their leadership not for their look. But seriously, you are not leading blind people. You are leading people with highly trained superficial traits and people with soft places for beautiful things. No one want to cradle scabby hairless chinese crested when you can pet a purring fluffy raggamuffin kitten.
So here my friend, I think I want to start a new trend that is abandoning one's local political scene and dive into American politic arena for the sake of coolness. Jump into the train (of awesomeness). Let us divide ourselves into democrats and republican. Ride an ass or an elephant. This is the star spangled Jalur Gemilang.
Just random thoughts I manage to write down when I'm doing the no.2...
Some people think men who cry during a romantic movie are weak. I just think they're good actors.
How do I know Batman is filthy rich? You can't spell Batman without ATM.
Some people are like Slinkies, not much use but fun to push down a flight of stairs.
Don't drink and drive, unless you're a really good multi-tasker.
Homeless people are like squirrels. They're fun to watch from a distance, but the closer you get, the more you just want to throw rocks at them.
When people tell me that cigarettes contain ammonia, which is also found in dog sh*t, it doesn't make me want to smoke any less. It just makes me think a little more highly of dog sh*t.
Great Email Address Weekend@scarletbrohansons.com
Call me crazy, but when I hear my dog barking, I know there's a ghost in the room... because my dog died two years ago.
Expiration dates are the original spoiler alerts.
Great minds think alike, but the greatest minds just steal their ideas and get rich.
KLCC Versace Service Motto "The customer is always white, and arabs"
If a girl makes you wear a condom, you probably didn't need it, and if she doesn't make you wear one you probably should have worn two. Life is full of irony. And sex disease.
My kind of joke: Q: What's long, hard and filled with semen? A: A submarine filled with cum.
Benjamin Franklin After Getting Dumped In this world nothing is certain but death, taxes, and women are bitches.
Beauty is in the I am so goddamn good looking
Is the fact that we don't see people from the future suddenly appearing all over an indication that time machines will never be invented, or that we just live in a very boring time?
I would KILL to live in a jail cell for 18 to 25 years.
The doctor said my grandpa had the lungs of a 9-year-old... who'd been smoking for 70 years.
Every guitar is an air guitar when you're deaf.
A lot of people make a big deal about the fact that 1/2 of marriages end in divorce. But I grimace more at the fact that the other half end in death.
Dial-up is a lot like giving birth. It's painful, slow, and you'll probably scream and bleed at some point, but at least at the end you're rewarded with a naked person.
I missed Majalah 3 again this week. That's 10 years in a row
Today, as I watched TV with my father, I realized that the History Channel is just really boring reality TV.
I woke up at 1.30am and out of the blue the first thing that came out in my head was I ran over by a car. It was creepy, but it felt so real. I was riding home from work, got a little careless, trying to make a left turn, then out of a sudden a car swept me from behind I was sent flying like a worthless chicken. As I laid on the curb with my body twisted and broken, all I could think was... nothingness. It was bone chilling. God!
Maybe its a reminder to me that death is imminent. That no matter how much plan I had for the future, when my time is up, it'll just end. I mean, I could never been ready to die. But I pray, that when I die, I can make peace with my fate and move on. Even if I die horribly, I beg from His Mercifulness to die in serenity and that no one will suffer upon my death.
I hope people will keep remembering me, and how awesome I was. Haha, kidding!
"No one is really dead until nobody remembered him."
True story. When I was in primary school, there was a girl who was bigger than me (duh, all girls are bigger than the boys in primary school), who openly declared her crush on me. Openly! I was dumbfounded. Clearly I had no feelings for her but I decided to go with the flow. I mean, everybody already knows, and everybody has bf/gf . I felt the urge to be 'in', so succumb to the peer pressure.
Is this even right? In the age of Hollywood idols and global warming (everybody's in heat.. get it? lol), everyone is expected to have a soul mate. Even for a school kid. I don't know about the girls, but as long as I can remember, I didn't have 'that' urge until I was in secondary school. All I could think of were what game to play after school and what will happen to Voltron next week. I think children nowadays are pressured to have a partner of different gender by the society at large. If you don't, then you are not cool.
I don't have to look far for an example. I have a 10 years old kid brother at home and I was surprised to learn that he has a girlfriend, a cute 10 years old girl (with cute little ponytail and all) who happens to live in front of my house. Not that he admits it, but whenever the girl come to my house (to ask my brother to play), my mum or my sister will announce the arrival of 'my brother's girlfriend'. I know its harmless and purely for amusement only, but doesn't it count as a pressure? Or a nudge?
Another example, when we are introduced to a lil' kid, we sometimes playfully jump to THE question. "Got any girlfriend (you cheeky little monkey)?". I feel that those kind of questions that implicitly put the pressure to the kids to have a special one. While there's nothing wrong to love another being, being together with someone else for the sake of appearance may send a different message to the young minds.
All I wanted to say is, this harmless practice is kinda improper to a child that age. Let them discover the feeling themselves. I'm afraid that in the future, any unlucky 'single' kid will be followed by those pity stares, or worse, ostracized as homosexuals. I mean, society tends to extrapolate their conclusions. Look what happened to young kids who don't mix and mingle with their friends nowadays. They were branded as 'difficult', or 'challenged', or heaven knows what else. They are just children. Save your expectations.
I am getting lazy. Exibit A, look at how my writings in this blog. It's getting shorter and shorter. Its like my mind is getting fat. Slow and sloppy. I don't challenge my brain anymore coz I got this perfect toxic answer for every question that come into my head, and it is "pffft.. whatever".
It's been awhile since I write anything about myself here, so now I think it's better to give my updates to my readers, all 2 of you. So, OK currently I'm fishing for a job opening my company have in KL, and so far I had send a formal letter to my bigger boss (not the bitch that terrorizing my office!), and the feed back is so far, very promising. Man, I'm tired or working here. So much drama and unnecessary political shit. Like yesterday, one of my male co worker was re transferred to the HQ because people accusing him of having an affair with a client, which is so not true (I know coz he's my roommate). It's totally a casual thing. People are totally accusing the wrong man. And the best part is, when the bigger boss was told by my bitchy manager (duh, who else? Effin' backstabber!), he immediately told my manager that my roommate must report back to HQ this coming Monday, coz he actually wanted him to be there. It's like a perfect opportunity. So, if I'm successfully transfered to KL, I'll see him again, or even maybe we'll be put in the same department. But I'm secretly wanting to work with new people.
And as you people noticed, I made a minor facelift to this webpage by tweaking and adding codes. Some turned out ok, some didn't. Like, I don't really understand why the marquee thing don't appear no more eventhough there's no error in codes. Whatthehell, like who cares. And I added some new songs to the mp3 widget, but today the whole thing doesn't work, and I was like, wtf? So I went to Boxstr.com to see what happen, but I can't open my account. WTF?? So the only option left is to open a new account at fileden.com and upload my musics there. Currently I'm so into hip hop music. I really dig "Swaggerright" by The Movement, a Jabbawockeez's member, Phil Tayag rap group. It's so damn dope! Madonna's 4 minute is good too, although I'm kinda over Justin Timberlake.
OK while I was bloghopping, I found this blog to which I found this vid.
It's about the South Korean Expression Crew, which dance technique is similar to the Jabbawockeez's. They both have the same marionette/mime thingy going on, and they're really tight!
They won the Battle of The Year 2002, the first from Asia. For the uninitiated, BoTY is the place where all the best b-boy crews fighting to be crowned the world's best. Kinda like Olympics for the b-boys.
Have you notice the graffiti on the riverbanks of Klang River along CM LRT? Currently the beautiful arts were painted over with much glorious white paints by the new government b'coz they can. But do you notice there are some graffiti that was not painted on, the ABU one? At first I thought it was a territorial mark from a narcissistic graffiti artist, but turned out, it actually means Asalkan Bukan Umno. I know right? So clever.
Today's street people are so political conscious. Since the opposition is governing, will the streets rebel against the opposition? I mean, how ironic and simultaneously cool is that?
To see more deleted Klang River graffiti click here.
I found these funny quotes designed for myspace kids who feelin' a lil' gangsta, yaknowwhatI'msayin'...
MaKe sUre u CaN bAcK uP wHaT u FLaP Up ..OthErwiSe.. ShUt tHa FuCK uP
YoU rEaLLy aInT dAt PrEtTy YoU rEaLLY aInT dAt sMaRt So WhAt gIVeS u Da RigHt To ThInK u CaN tEaR pPL aPaRt
D0nT GeT MaD WeN yA MaN tUrnZ aRou N LicKs his LiPz wHilE sAyIn 'WaIt a Min' It aInT mY FaLt I wAs BoRn W/ TheSe NiCe AzZ hIpZ
CoMe On ByTcH WaNnA GeT ThInGs StArTeD No NeEd To FuCc U Up YoU AlReAdY LoOk ReTaRdEd
*~ByTcHeS sTaRe 'N' mAkE a FuSs~* *~OnE qUeStIoN .. jEaLoUs MuCh?!~*
Ur NoT WoRtH MY TiMe & CaN't TaKe MY PLaCe So WhAtEvA U GoTtA SaY HoE, SaY iT To MY FaCe
FoR ALL U LiL HoEs ThAt TaLk ShlT MY NaMe AiNt dlCk So KEep It OuT Ur MoUtH
iM sicK oF aLL tHeSe LiL ByTcHeZ FLaPpIn KeEp On YaPpIn..CuZ pReTtY sOoN iMa StArT sLaPpIn
y0 i MuSt bE siCK wIt mY fLoW g0t DeM tHuGz ScReAmIn " ay0o" gLaNcE OvA?...hElL n0!
ByCheZ sMiLe iN mA fAcE & -aCt sO FrIeNdlY- tHen WaLk AwAy WiT hAte & HeArtZ FuLL oF Envy
dOnT gEt PiSSeD iF u GeT DiSSeD Ur JuSt aNoThA HoE oN mY "gOt PiMpEd" LiSt
NoToRiouZ FroM HeaD 2 ToE NawTy aZ HeLL BuT I Ain*T No HoE
All YeW HoeZ ThiNk YeR FiNe * HaHa.. pLeaZe.. * I*ll SteaL Ya MaN n sTiLL KeeP MiNe!
*u TaLk ShYt..SaY iT WiToUt a tRaCe CuM oN bE a GaNxTa ChiCc-n sAy iT 2 Ma FaCe iF u CaNT WaLk Da WaLk DuNt TaLk Da TaLk CuZ FaKE LiL ByTcHeS GeT OuTLiNeD iN cHaLk*
WheN i WaLk In Da HaTaZ sToP n sTaRe WeLL kEeP oN LoOkiN cUz i DuN FuKiN cAre i HaVe MaH oWn LyFe N sTyLe iM nOt TrYiN tA pLeAzE u Or MaKe Ya sMyLe
I'm so sorry about the font and the spelling. You know kids these days... so stupid.
I've been writing for several years now (by several I mean 2). I, by no means a great writer. I write what intrigue me, but mostly I write about what bothers me. As I am not a talker, so I whine in the cyberspace.
Recently (and by recent I mean just minutes ago), I signed in to nuffnang, a community site for bloggers. I've actually signed in other community sites like bloglah, but I don't really care about it and I actually forgot the username and password to access it. I just love signing into stuffs.
As much as I wanted people to read about my stuff, sometimes I felt unease. Mainly because I'm uncomfortable when people know so much about me. It just me. When I'm having a chat with strangers, I usually give false facts about me. I even use hundreds of pseudo names that sometimes I can't keep track of. Bottom line is, I hate people knowing so much about me. You see, I'm like Hollywood celebrities, minus the giant sunglasses but with extra ego.
And when you know people read about your inner thinking, you will try to outdo yourself in every posting, where the material usually turned out to be highly exaggerated or a complete utter lie. While there's nothing wrong with lying, stretching your brain muscle to squeeze out new fresh ideas may bring a long term geek illness because you spent so much time in front of your computer. You know you are a geek when you have more strangers you called online friends than real friends or sex partners.
I love to write like Carrie Bradshaw, but the problem is my life is extra mundane. If only I have 3 other buddies that have 'healthy' night life and talk about it over roti canai and nescafe ais...
[Intro] This is a motherfuckin emergency~! (Let's go) Zone Fo', St. Louis - you ready? Haha, A-T-L... let's go! I told y'all I was gon' change the game L.A. all day! They can't stop ya boy They can't stop ya boy, I get money!
[Nelly] Y'all motherfuckers ain't ready, hey!
[Chorus: Fergie] + (Nelly) Just walked through the door, what's it gonna be? I can't get to the floor, boys all over me (Where my party, p-party party, p-party people at?) (Where my party, p-party party, p-party people at?) (I just walked through the door, what's it gonna be?) (I can't get to the flo', girls all over me) Where my party, pa' party party pa' party people at? Where my party, pa' party party pa' party people at?
[Nelly] It's Nelly motherfucker comin straight up out the Lou' and All you New Edition-ass rappers better cool it now 'Fore I make a fool of y'all, paper stacked as tall as Yao Ming, look at the bling, settings in rings lookin like basketballs It's Nelly motherfucker comin straight up out the Lou' and All you New Edition-ass rappers better cool it now 'Fore I make a fool of y'all, paper stacked as tall as Yao Ming, look at the bling, settings in rings lookin like basketballs
[Chorus]
[Interlude 4X: Fergie] + (Nelly) Where my party people at? (Where my party people at?)
[Fergie] Well it's Fergie motherfucker comin straight from Cali-for-ni-A Stuntin in my loc-locs, dreamin 'bout me M.I.A. Boyfriend wonderin where I'm at, cause I'm in the spot-spot Why he always tryin to be puttin me down on lock lock? Well it's Fergie motherfucker comin straight from Cali-for-ni-A Stuntin in my loc-locs, dreamin 'bout me M.I.A. Boyfriend wonderin where I'm at, cause I'm in the spot-spot Why he always tryin to be puttin me down on lock lock?
[Chorus]
[Nelly] Patiently waitin and takin my time Watchin these haters done come with they rhymes Watchin these suckers all mimickin, gimmickin Then they start fallin off one at a time You be the searcher but you never could find I promise you durrty I'm one of a kind Mold is broken, the formula's mine I killed the idea and destroyed the design
[Fergie] I was patiently waitin and takin my time Now that I'm here I'm gettin my shine All of you haters can kiss my behind Specifically speakin I'm talkin 'bout mine Don't need you to tell me I know that I'm fine I'm killin it baby so call it a crime Yeah you watch it but I'm stealin my time I told you before that big girls don't cry
[Nelly] Where my party people at?
[Chorus]
[Outro 8X: Fergie] + (Nelly) Where my party people at? (Where my party people at?)
I can't construct a paragraph of sentence with a single congruent idea. I am an extremely forgetful person. I never really finished anything. I never satisfied of anything. I keep seeing faces in everything, especially in abstract organic matter and anything patterned. I just never think anymore. Everything I do basically is based on my intuition. What the fuck is wrong with me?
Ok I know that I'm kinda lagged behind about this hot new story about 8 teens charged for beating a 16 years old and taped it. To add insult to the stupidity, those dumb teenagers uploaded the video into youtube hoping that it will be a famous viral video. Well yeah, they are famous now. Unfortunately, they can't really watch it since there's no internet connection behind the bars.
Rumour has it that the beating was caused by myspace rivalry, where suppose this 16 year-old kid Victoria 'Tori' Lindsay(yes I bold'd her stupid name), spread some rumors about one of the girls in the clique (which from now on will be referred as the FAT PACK coz they are literally not thin). Yes, can you believe it. Fucking myspace! A site which is polluted with underage girls who dress like a slut to lure potential child rapist, and underage boys who think daily masturbation equal awesomeness. I mean come on. Does people do myspace anymore? It's facebook period you idiot (they rhymed).
Apparently the fat pack lured the gossip girl to one of the girls house who she considered as BFF. Upon arriving, the gossiper head was slammed into a wall, knocking her unconscious and thats where the feast began. After the beating, the mouth diarrhea'd girl manage to stand up and tried to walk away but she was pulled in again for some more beating. I must say, that although they are fat, they must be really pussy coz the skinny ass girl can stand up after the beating. Oh, my bad. They are girls. Girls equal buried alive in China. I lost my point.
Anyway, the teens was said to be tried as adults. Hmm.. I think the police better just let them loose coz the street justice will prevail. Let their head slammed onto the pavement and their skull cracked open by baseball bat. Ok maybe I'm a little bit harsh. We should just let them be raped, but then again who wanna stick their schlong into those whales? Oh, they are KKK by the way.
These gang fight viral video is nothing new. There are hundreds of this video in the internet and yet this is the only one being sensationalized. I have watch youtube video about a pack of fugly girls beating this other girl (which is not so pretty too), here in Malaysia. Its nice to see young kids unite for something they believe in.
Wassup dude!! In this edition, we will show you how to make Fried Rabbit In My Heart.
First, get the cutest baby rabbit you could get your hands on to. The operative word here is baby, like this one. I steal it while its mother is nursing it. Its name is Little Joey.
Now, I'm sure that the rabbit will struggle for its dear life. To calm it down, gently pet its head to give an illusion that you are not a monster that eats cute furry little animals. If the thing still struggle, put it on the ground and stomp on it. They actually love being stomped on. Now don't electrocute it, coz we know, electrocution is for murderers and child rapists.
Now take the biggest machete and slit its throat. Watch how funny it twitches. hahaha.
As you all know, we can't consume fur. So skin the baby rabbit with love. The fur can be made into a full coat if you kill enough baby rabbit. Nothing warms you up in the winter chill than dead animal skin. Don't forget to cut off its tail and ears and donate it to the Playboy foundation, which help young and hot teenagers who aspire to be a playmate.
Take the naked baby rabbit and cut it into eight part. *chomp chomp chomp* Most of you don't know that rabbit's eye is quite delicious, its like eating a new born koala bear. So right now, I'm gonna take out its eyes. *scoop*
Make sure that you warm the oil beforehand. Now put the rabbit parts into the frying pan one by one with love. You can fry the head if you want to.
After done frying, serve it on a plate of garden salad, with its eyes as garnishing.
There you go, Fried Rabbit In My Heart. Good luck!
Remember, a dinner with love is fucking awesome! Don't forget to tune up next week for Kitten Soup For Soul. Bubbye!
I think I am a funny guy. A guy who don't afraid to make a fool of himself (because I am actually an ugly fool, I can't help it, I inspire myself to make jokes), and make a fool of people behind their back (seriously, bitching people behind their back is wayyyy funnier than talking shit to people to their face). I'm addicted to good times, like Lindsay Lohan addicted to booze and Paris Hilton addicted to cocks. I love to have a hearty laugh although my dental features equals to the Great Wall of China, big, cracked and gapped.
However in the back of my mind when I have a fun time, I always worried about the shit that will come my way. I am a firm believer of karma (not the 'I am a walrus in my past life' kinda karma). I believe that life is like a wheel or cart or any rolling round object, after you reached the high point, you will dive into the equal amount of low points. The higher I got, the lowest I will fall flat on my product free face (fuck cosmetics, I'm all natural). At the end of the day, I become highly sensitive, emo and murderous.
This is why, in the last one year, I reinvented myself as a total emotionless piece of shit (picture an aristocrat British asshole). I manage to pull a straight face when people (who aren't cool enough) around me popped a joke, random or premeditated. There's an art of pulling a straight face. Keep thinking that you are too damn good for their lowly unimpressive jokes coz they're lame and you could easily pull a better joke like you pull that chicken muscle leftover that stuck between your teeth. I know that it definitely hurt their feeling, but I'm just protecting myself. You see, if I have a great time, I will definitely will have a great shitty time. It's binarily simple. So right now I'm a quiet hermit, minding my own business unlike those lame officemates that keep diving into other people business nose first.
Right now, I reserved my happiness to people who I deemed worthy for having a blast and shitty time to. Yes, it's kinda apartheid of me, but then again, I'm no Nelson Mandela. I'm just tired of constant emotional roller coaster, so I choose to eliminate dramas in my life. When I want drama, I'll go watch one in the cinema. Or on pirated DVDs. Or illegally downloaded it.
What is it with love? The one thing that can make you fly so high, and then crushed you shitless. I waited for this weekend to happen for so long, had my hope build up and everything, but in the end, all I got were pain and disappointment. Maybe I was out of relationship for so damn long, I was hallucinating on how great love felt. How the warm fuzzy feeling encapsulates my soul, bla bla bla. I tried. But all I do is trying. Betrayal is a bitch. Things just never happened to me. Maybe I don't deserve this? Maybe yea. Maybe the past curse of the love I pushed away come hunting me. What goes around comes around. Timing is everything and the time fucked me.
Seriously, I'm DONE.
Ok this is so emo. Shake it off. Fuck it! Move on and stfu.
For you who don't know who's Jabbawockeez are, they are the newly crowned America's Best Dance Crew. I watched all their performance in MTV and I must say that they are miles ahead from other crews in terms of innovation, choreography and originality. Their street mime style basically initiate a new genre in dance evolution, and that says a lot as in originality.
Other than their moves, I think it is their personalities that attract people's attention. They are a bunch of brothers oozing with positive attitude and even though they perform behind masks, they manage to touch their audience with their performance. Man, I'm running out of superlatives here.
Prior entering this contest, Jabba lost one of their original member Gary, but that did not deter them from giving it all in their performance. It was a moving when they dedicated their last performance for Gary.
Well, I hope that we all can see more of Jabba after this, and if there come down here in Malaysia, I'll be the first in line to watch their awesome moves. Jabba you are the sickest dance crew ever.
